you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
