the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
