Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
