Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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