after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
