the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
