doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
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