Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
