I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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