Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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