I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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