plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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