My room smells like vodka and shame
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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