I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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