yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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