dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
