In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
