that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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