I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
