And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
