i think i have two assholes
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
