Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
