Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize