Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
