He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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