she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
