I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
