you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
