The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
