Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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