How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
