Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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