I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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