He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
