when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
