Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
