Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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