We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
