So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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