If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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