We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
