so that wasnt chicken after all
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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