You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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