i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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