And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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