finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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