they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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