I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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