Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
