Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
