i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize