Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
