is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize