At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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