I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
