Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
