we're chasing vodka with high fives
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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