Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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