Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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