I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
