I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
