What did we do last night that was yellow?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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