All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's Friday. Sex?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
