Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
