So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
