Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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