im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
