we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
